It occurred to me, after I published the post a couple of weeks ago on how to define and self-assess experience, that imposter syndrome is closely related. How many freelancers experience that? I do. 

Imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling that my accomplishments are all a fraud. I don’t actually know what I am doing. Sooner or later a client or a colleague will call me out on the terrible quality of my work. 

This can often flare up with a more difficult project. Perhaps the index is for a subject I am less familiar with. Or maybe I am in a dry spell for work, and I am wondering, will anyone ever send me work again? Or maybe I am just tired, which causes the project I am working on to seem more daunting than it actually is. Whatever the case, I start to doubt myself. I second guess decisions. I get anxious when faced with a difficult section in the index and I have to step away for a moment to refocus. 

Do you ever feel this way? I suspect it is fairly common. The Writing Excuses podcast has an excellent episode on imposter syndrome from a couple of years ago. 

I do not know if imposter syndrome will ever fully go away. I seem to be in its grips less often now, though I can see a couple of upcoming projects that are a little outside my comfort zone. I wonder if it is most common in that career stage shortly after being a rookie, in that time when you are coming to grips with newfound success, and are trying to turn that newfound success and experience into confidence. 

Occasionally clients will send me a handwritten note of appreciation. I have three of them pinned to my bulletin board, to remind me that at least three people like my work. I also have a handful of testimonials that I can refer to, sent via email. These are all confidence boosters, and very much appreciated. If you are someone who hires indexers, and you genuinely like the work, take a moment to say so. Your comment will make a difference. 

If you are someone who experiences imposter syndrome, know that you are not alone. It can happen to all of us. At best, use it as a tool to deepen your craft and improve. Otherwise, know that what it is telling you is false. Try to find ways to remind yourself of that fact. You are a professional, and you do have what it takes to do your job. 

My apologies for not blogging last week. I was sick two weeks ago, which made last week extremely busy, catching up on work. I did draft this post, but did not get as far as revising and posting it. I hope to get back on track going forward.