I laughed when I first came up with the title for this blog post. It was a laugh at how absurd the title sounded, and also a laugh of recognition. Suddenly this issue was starting to crystallize into words.

Work seems so innocuous, being something we do everyday. How can indexing or proofreading hurt me? Yet I have worked on the occasional project that provoked painful memories or fears, and which in hindsight I should have declined.

Taking a step back from the term “trigger warning,” there is also work which is simply emotionally difficult to process. It may not trigger a sharp or personal response, but it can still be emotionally draining. I remember the indexers for the Canadian Truth and Reconciliation Commission report, about residential schools, commenting on the emotional weight of their work.

I am not quite sure what to say about this subject. It is deeply personal; how I react to a text will likely be different from how someone else reacts. I am also no expert on mental health. Still, I think it is a subject that is at least worth mentioning. Freelancers are still people, after all, underneath our professionalism.

I know I am certainly tempted at times to take on projects with difficult content. Sometimes it is for the income, while sometimes I tell myself that as a professional I should be able to handle anything. In reality, though, the professional course of action would be to recognize my own limitations and try to screen projects accordingly. Catching an emotional curveball is not worth the few hundred dollars that may accompany it or the effects that that turmoil might have on the rest of my schedule and life.

At times it may not be the book itself which is so problematic, but rather something else happening in my life which is causing me to be less emotionally resilient at that particular time. And then there are the projects that seem innocuous, and which turn out to be very different, in a bad way, from what I anticipated.

I find that I am getting better at handling these types of difficult projects. The first line of defense, as I mentioned, is to try and screen projects and turn down ones that seems to be too much or not right for me at this time. It is important to recognize here that just because a book may be triggering or emotionally heavy does not mean that it is necessarily a bad book. It may be a very important book about a difficult subject, like the Truth and Reconciliation report. So I try not to blame the project itself, but simply recognize that not every project is a good fit. Also, knowing that what I find difficult may be fine for someone else can provide permission for passing a project along. 

If I do accept a difficult project, either by accident or because I think I can handle it, there are a few ways to make the work easier. I try to cut myself some slack by breaking the work into smaller chunks, while also taking more breaks to rest and process what I am reading. Acknowledging my emotions, instead of burying them under a professional veneer, can help with setting the emotions aside so I can focus. Keeping the ultimate purpose of the book in mind, if I think the book has something valuable to offer, can also help me stay focused, as I do want to contribute to the greater good. It can also help to remember that this is just one project and will soon be over—I will outlive the work. 

Be kind to yourself. Be honest about what is doable and what is too much. Get help or support if you need it. Keep the project in perspective. If you find yourself with an emotionally difficult project, you can get through it.